Learning to Walk in Self-Compassion
What a Hard Week Taught Me About Forgiveness, Faith, and Gentle Growth
I thought I was done writing about transitions. I wrote about pivots, boundaries, and even the dangers of toxic positivity. Then life threw me into a week so heavy I had no choice but to face what was really being asked of me: self-compassion.
When Life Knocks You Sideways
Recently, I hit a wall. I’d been procrastinating making a payment plan for my taxes, just like I once procrastinated paying off tolls and had to swallow expensive fines. I told myself I’d deal with it “later.” But “later” came crashing in when the money I was expecting for work I had already done got intercepted by the state.
My heart dropped. I had counted on that payment to cover another pressing project, dealing with my car registration, and now it was gone. In that moment, I felt sad, frustrated, and completely alone.
But something surprising happened. When I shared honestly with my friends, instead of judgment, I received compassion. Messages came in: “Girl, that happened to me.” “It’s gonna be OK. Here’s what I did when I went through it.” Their stories reminded me that I wasn’t alone and that shame didn’t need to have the last word.
That experience revealed something powerful: the key to moving forward wasn’t just more hustle or grit. It was self-compassion.
What Self-Compassion Really Means
As Sanjana Gupta (2024) writes in Verywell Mind, self-compassion “involves learning how to be kind, gentle, and patient toward ourselves when things in our lives get tricky, challenging, messy, sad, awful, or unbearable.” Stephanie Strauss, a yoga and mindfulness teacher, adds: “It’s learning how to become our own best friend.”
Psychologist Rachel Goldman, PhD, emphasizes that self-compassion is not about making excuses—it’s about supporting yourself so you can move forward without being crushed by self-criticism (Gupta, 2024).
This resonates deeply with me. Because the truth is, when we don’t practice compassion for ourselves, we don’t just suffer emotionally—we stay stuck. We replay mistakes, internalize anger, and block ourselves from receiving support.
Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, in his book Making Change That Lasts, reminds us of the importance of forgiveness—not only of ourselves and others, but even of systems. That hit home for me. I realized I was carrying so much anger toward government agencies and their endless runaround. But as Dr. Chatterjee points out, the system isn’t hurt by my anger—I am. If I stay resentful, I stay stuck. Forgiveness becomes an act of freedom.
5 Ways I’m Practicing Self-Compassion
Drawing from Gupta’s article and my own journey, here’s how I’m learning to walk this out daily:
1. Practice Self-Kindness Instead of Self-Judgment
Instead of asking, “Why did I do this to myself?” I remind myself: “I’m doing the best I can with what I know.” That little shift lightens the burden and helps me take the next step without shame.
💡 Try this: The next time you catch yourself in harsh self-talk, rewrite the sentence as if you were speaking to a dear friend.
2. Recognize Our Common Humanity
When I shared my story, people told me, “This happened to me too.” Suddenly, I didn’t feel like a failure—I felt like part of a community of humans figuring it out.
💡 Try this: The next time you feel ashamed, reach out to a trusted friend. Ask, “Have you ever gone through something like this?” You’ll be surprised at how many people say yes.
3. Be Mindful of Your Feelings Without Over-Identifying
I felt angry and overwhelmed when I realized my money had been intercepted. But mindfulness reminds me: emotions are signals, not definitions.
💡 Try this: When a wave of frustration hits, pause and say, “This is what I’m feeling, but it is not who I am.”
4. Use Encouraging Self-Talk
I often tell readers to see themselves through rose-colored glasses, not harsh lenses. Now I’m challenging myself to practice what I preach.
💡 Try this: Each morning, write down one compassionate sentence you want to carry with you throughout the day.
5. Take Care of Your Mind, Body, and Spirit
For me, this is where faith comes in. Prayer, scripture, and listening for the Holy Spirit remind me that life is spiritual and I’m not walking alone. Even dreams can carry downloads for the journey ahead.
💡 Try this: End your day with a 5-minute reflection: Where did I feel God’s presence today? Where did I show myself compassion?
The Stage I’m In
This is where I am right now—in a season of transition, learning to walk in self-compassion instead of self-condemnation. And it matters because how I show up for myself impacts how I show up for others.
Self-compassion is not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about walking in faith, forgiving systems and people, and remembering that I’m already free even when the situation hasn’t yet resolved.
So if you’re in your own season of heaviness, remember this:
You are not alone.
You are not your mistakes.
You are walking toward freedom—right now.
Look at yourself through rose-colored glasses. Practice compassion, not criticism. And take one small, faithful step forward.
🌟 Road to 1,000: Why It Matters🌟
As I share this, I’m also on my road to 1,000 subscribers. But here’s the truth—it’s not just about the number. Each subscriber represents a person choosing compassion, faith, and growth. That’s the impact I care about.
If this spoke to you, I’d love for you to:
✨ Download the FREE Self-Compassion Daily Practice Guide
✨ Subscribe to join me on this journey,
✨ Or share this with someone who needs the reminder to treat themselves gently.
Together, we can build something bigger than numbers. We can build impact—one life, one heart at a time.
References
Gupta, S. (2024, March 28). 5 self-compassion exercises to practice daily. Verywell Mind. Reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS. Retrieved from Verywell Mind
Strauss, S., quoted in Gupta, S. (2024). 5 self-compassion exercises to practice daily. Verywell Mind.
Chatterjee, R. (2023). Making change that lasts: How to get to the root of your habits and make lasting transformations.